McDonald's Application Humor

McDONALD'S APPLICATION

This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,

whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying

here in the first place.

                         DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style

                         severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

                         EDUCATION: Yes.

                         LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

                         SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

                 MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and

                 post-it notes.

                 REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

                 HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

                 PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

                 DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more

                 intimate environment.

                 MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?

                 DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM

                 LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?

                 DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do

                 you have a car that runs?"

                 HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already

                 be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

                 DO YOU SMOKE? On the job no, on my breaks yes.

                 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas

                 with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the

                 greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

                 DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF

                 YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Yes – Absolutely.

                 SIGN HERE: Aries.

Found at Work Humor! Link to more humor at http://home.cfl.rr.com/kuschskorner/work.htm

| | |

| |